Dear Annie: I read with interest your response to the mother whose spouse undermines her authority in front of their 6-year-old daughter. As a mother, foster parent and now a grandmother, I’ve seen firsthand how damaging it can be when parents don’t present a united front.

Every time one parent undercuts the other, they chip away at that parent’s authority — and they teach the child to manipulate the divide. This behavior may seem minor now, but trust me, it sets the stage for chaos during the teen years. Children need consistent rules and consequences to feel secure and respected, and undermining those efforts only breeds confusion and disrespect.

I’ve watched this play out in my own family, and it breaks my heart. One parent holds the line, the other gives in — and the children have learned exactly how to exploit the inconsistency. Now there’s talk of divorce, and the kids are struggling at home and in school.

Why don’t more parents understand that being on the same page isn’t just good parenting — it’s essential? And how can they learn to work as a team before the damage is done? — Worried for the Next Generation

Dear Worried: You’re absolutely right. When parents undermine each other, the child does not win; they lose structure, security and respect for both parents. Kids are smart. If there’s a weak link, they’ll find it — and exploit it. Parenting isn’t a popularity contest. It’s a partnership. And if these two don’t get on the same page soon, they’ll end up raising a child who plays them both like a fiddle.

Dear Annie: In 1965, my father — a 30-year U.S. Army veteran and part of the Greatest Generation — was diagnosed with multiple myeloma caused by radiation exposure during his military service. He began the long process of filing a claim with the VA. They lost his paperwork not once, but four times. On the fifth attempt, I hand-delivered his records with a federal employee as a witness. When they again claimed to have misplaced the documents, I informed them that my witness would provide a notarized affidavit. Miraculously, the records were “found” that same afternoon.

Despite being 100% disabled, my father spent the final years of his life battling not only his illness but also the very system meant to support him. He was a strategist, a POW officer after Europe was resolved, and a JAG judge. And even while ill, he devoted himself to helping fellow veterans navigate these challenges.

I want to urge disabled veterans and their families to:

No. 1: Contact their state senators and congressional representatives. These offices often have staff dedicated to helping with VA issues.

No. 2: Reach out to organizations like the American Legion, Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW), VoteVets, Wounded Warriors and, for specific disabilities, groups like the Blinded Veterans Association or Paralyzed Veterans of America.

No. 3: Consider disease-specific foundations such as the International Myeloma Foundation.

No. 4: Seek legal advocacy if necessary. Some attorneys, like the late Gordon Erspamer of Morrison & Foerster, have fought and won critical cases in federal court on behalf of veterans.

Why is the VA system still so difficult for our most vulnerable veterans to navigate — and what more can be done to hold it accountable while helping veterans get the support they’ve earned? — Disabled Veteran

Dear Veteran: First, thank you — for your father’s service and for your tireless advocacy.

Sadly, the issues you describe are not uncommon. The VA system can be maddeningly slow, inconsistent and difficult to navigate. That’s why your advice is spot on: Persistence, political pressure and support from veteran organizations are essential. Veterans shouldn’t have to fight so hard for what they’ve earned, but until the system is truly reformed, they’ll need strong advocates like you.

Your father was a hero. And so are you.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.