Dear Annie: I’ve always been a people-pleaser, and it’s wearing me down. My boss, “Mark,” constantly asks me to take on extra tasks because he knows I won’t say no. Last week, I stayed late three nights in a row to finish a project that wasn’t even mine. And it’s not just at work, either. My roommate “Rachel” is constantly asking for favors (walking her dog, picking her up something from the store), and I always say yes even when it’s pretty inconvenient.

I feel guilty saying no to any of this, but I also feel the resentment beginning to grow. I want to be a good employee and a reliable, compassionate friend. How do I know where to draw the line? — Overwhelmed and Worn Out

Dear Overwhelmed: Being a good employee and reliable friend doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. If you feel resentment brewing, that’s a surefire sign that you’ve let the people-pleasing go too far.

You can either air out your grievances or jump right into changing your ways by telling Mark you’re already at capacity with your own tasks and letting Rachel know you simply won’t have time to run an extra errand.

Resentment is a clear sign that you need to start protecting your time. People who respect you will respect that choice.

Dear Annie: I’ve been dating a man who isn’t divorced yet, but his wife moved out in December 2023 and has since relocated to her own place in another town. He told me from the start that he wasn’t divorced but would be. We started dating in September 2024, and things have been fantastic. We go out for dinner, dance twice a week, bike and hike together. We both own our homes, so we don’t live together, but he comes over for dinner, we eat and watch TV, and then he goes home.

The problem is, whenever his grown children need him or have time for him, he drops me. I haven’t met them because he wants to be divorced first, but I haven’t met his friends either. He’s even gone to dinner twice with a retired male co-worker without inviting me. I made sure it wasn’t another woman, and I know it wasn’t, but he never includes me.

We make plans, but if his kids want to do something, let’s say go hiking, for example, he will go with them and cancel on me without asking me to come along. Recently, we had a Friday night date planned for 7:30 p.m. He had been babysitting, got home late and then texted at 6:30 to cancel because he was too tired. I was already dressed and ready. I was so disappointed. I still had him come over for dinner and TV because it was too late to do anything else, all my friends were out, and I didn’t want to be alone.

I knew he wasn’t divorced, but it’s been 15 months since his wife left. I feel I’m good enough for him, but then I’m dismissed when his children want him. Sometimes, my heart gets in the way of good judgment … When is it time for me? What should I do? — Who Am I to Him?

Dear Who Am I: You’ve been extremely understanding of this man’s circumstances, and while it’s fair for him to be cautious about involving his children in his dating life, that doesn’t mean you should settle for less than you deserve. Kids aside, following through on plans and introducing you to his friends would prove that he cares and you’re important to him.

It’s time for an honest conversation. Is there any real progress being made to finalize the divorce? Will he make you a priority before then? Does he intend for you to eventually have a relationship with his children? If you’re not satisfied with his answers, you need to ask yourself how much longer you’re willing to wait for him to meet you where you are. A serious partner will make this space for you, not just fit you in when they feel like it.

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Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.