Dear Annie: I’m struggling with how to handle my mother-in-law, “Karen.” My husband, “Jake,” and I have been married for five years, and we just had our first baby, “Emily,” three months ago.

Since Emily was born, Karen has been over constantly. At first, I appreciated her help, but now it feels like she’s taking over. She drops by unannounced, critiques how I feed and dress Emily, and insists on holding her the entire time she’s here. If I take Emily back, Karen pouts or says passive-aggressive things like, “I guess I’m not needed.” She once even commented on how quickly I’m “dropping the baby weight,” which I guess was supposed to be a compliment, but it made me uncomfortable.

Jake thinks it’s no big deal, but it’s making me anxious in my own home. I don’t want to start a big fight, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m competing with my own child’s grandmother. How do I set boundaries without causing a family rift? — Feeling Pushed Aside

Dear Pushed Aside: Boundaries aren’t about starting fights. They’re about protecting your well-being.

Talk to Jake first, and let him know how important it is that you feel in control in your own home, especially now that you have a baby. Together, you can calmly but firmly communicate some ground rules to Karen.

If she pouts or makes a passive-aggressive comment, let her. It’s not your responsibility to manage her emotions.

Dear Annie: My younger sister, “Mia,” is getting married in a few months, and what should be an exciting time has turned into a nightmare. I’m her maid of honor, but instead of feeling honored, I feel like her personal assistant. She sends me endless texts about wedding details, expects me to be available 24/7 and gets upset if I can’t drop everything to help her.

Last week, she asked me to redo her bridal shower plans because she “wasn’t feeling the theme” after I had already put down a deposit. When I pushed back, she got teary and said I was ruining her big moment. Our mom keeps telling me to just go along with it to keep the peace, but I’m exhausted and resentful.

I love my sister and want her day to be special, but I also don’t want to be treated like an unpaid wedding planner. Help! — Burnt-Out Maid of Honor

Dear Burnt-Out: The duties of a maid of honor don’t include being at the bride’s beck and call. Yes, it’s her day, but that doesn’t give her carte blanche to take her family’s generosity for granted. Let her know you’re happy to support her but simply can’t be available 24/7.

As for the bridal shower, remind her that changes at this point aren’t realistic. If she insists, let her handle it.

Your mom’s advice to “keep the peace” comes at your expense. You’re allowed to protect your time and energy.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.