Dear Heloise: We live in Arizona, and my husband wanted to put a pool in our backyard. I agreed only if all three kids learned to swim and my husband agreed to teach them. Three years after the pool was installed, no one had learned to swim correctly yet. So, I enrolled them in a class that taught swimming, and thank heavens I did!

My youngest was running round the edge of the pool, slipped and hit his head on the pool’s edge, then slipped under the water. His brother jumped into the pool, swam to his brother, and pulled him out before we had a tragedy.

The moral of the story is to teach your kids to swim. I don’t care where you live. It’s a basic survival skill and so easy to learn. After reading the story of the woman whose nephew drowned, I started to cry, remembering how I could have lost one of my children. — Sharon, in Mesa, Arizona

OPEN THAT JAR!

Dear Heloise: If you cannot open a jar, the easiest way is to put a thick rubber band on the lid and turn it. If this doesn’t work, put another band on jar. With the two bands, you will be able to open the jar. — Judy G., via email

DON’T JUDGE OLDER WOMEN

Dear Heloise: I had a visceral reaction to T.F., in Ohio, who stated that women between 40-50 need to try harder to look attractive. This is exactly why I hate going to get my hair cut: the judgment of people who don’t know my story and who impose their own values of what a woman “should” be.

I do take care of myself. I eat vegetables and work out regularly. And yes, I do moisturize. But you know what? I’m getting older, and I can’t help the fact that I now have sags and wrinkles. I cannot turn back the clock. I feel bad enough about this already, and I don’t need someone else’s judgment to make me feel worse. — K.T., in the Midwest

K.T., isn’t it interesting that these judgments are nearly always about women? No one knows what has gone on in our lives … illnesses, trauma, grief, joy, and so much more.

Remember, lines are etched where laughter has been. Crows feet are from smiles and happy moments. Got a few extra pounds? As they say in Hawaii, “There’s just more of you to love.” Your friends accept you as you are and don’t try to change you.  They seldom notice lines, wrinkles, or a few extra pounds. The people who do notice and criticize you for it aren’t worth your time or attention. — Heloise

HEALTHY SQUIRREL FOOD

Dear Heloise: I wanted to respond to the letter from Glen Allen, in Virginia, about feeding small squares of buttered or plain bread to squirrels. This is like tossing bread to ducks and geese on the water or giving your grandchild a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos for lunch — tasty but not nutritious! The bread fills up more of the squirrels’ stomachs than nuts and seeds and does not leave room for the foods that the squirrels actually need to be healthy. — Sharon Ferraro, in Kalamazoo, Michigan

SAVE MONEY WITH ­COUPONS

Dear Heloise: I used a lot of coupons when we were living paycheck to paycheck; they were a real help. My husband also thought it made us look really poor until I showed him how much we actually saved using them. We are very comfortable financially now, and I still use them — mostly the digital ones for the store I shop at. Over the course of a year, I can save several hundred dollars. — Janice, in Omaha, Nebraska

— — —

Hints from Heloise run occasionally in Lifestyles. Readers may send a hint to Heloise, P.O. Box 795000, San Antonio, Texas 78279-5000, fax it to 210-HELOISE, or email: Heloise@Heloise.com. Letters won’t be answered personally.