Dear Annie: I have noticed things missing in my house. After visiting my daughter’s house, I have noticed some of these things at her house. For example, a bracelet that I had been looking for for months, as well as a coffee mug and a small decorative vase.

How should I go about this? Her boyfriend, who I never trusted, lives with her. I want to confront both of them, but I’m unsure how to go about this. She has three kids, and I don’t want to miss out on seeing them. I have been losing sleep thinking about it. — Untrustworthy

Dear Untrustworthy: Before confronting anyone, make sure you’re certain about what’s happening. Could there be another explanation? Are the items definitely yours?

If you’re sure, have a conversation with your daughter, but avoid anything too accusatory — something like, “I’ve noticed some items missing from my house, and I’m noticing similar items at yours. Can you help me understand how they got there?” This gives her an opportunity to explain herself — or her boyfriend — before you need to point any fingers.

Dear Annie: I have been married for almost 20 years and have a 6-year-old daughter. I suffered an injury I was unaware I had even gotten. I was unknowingly bleeding to death internally. A symptom of this health crisis I was unaware I was facing was anxiety. I was getting upset about things that never bothered me before and was unable to sleep.

Because of this, my wife left me and took our daughter. I went to the doctor after they left to prove to my wife that there was nothing wrong with me. I was shocked to find out what had happened and that there was a health condition I was battling.

I was able to cure the injury and my health was restored. I was confident once my wife found out what had happened that she would have empathy and we would reconcile. Instead, she said I was using my health condition as an excuse for my behavior and never spoke to me again. I was never physically violent, but I said very mean things during panic attacks because of the anxiety I was feeling.

How can I get my wife to understand that what happened does not make me a bad person? How do I save my family? My daughter is losing her family, and my wife is doing all she can to keep me from her because of things that aren’t true. I love my wife and daughter so much. My family is my life. This was just a tragic accident. — Desperate to Reunite

Dear Desperate: I can tell from your letter what a toll this situation is taking on you and how much you miss your family. Your perspective of this incident is extremely painful and completely valid. On the flip side, though, your wife witnessed her husband inexplicably change and clearly still feels confused and hurt — even if you didn’t do so intentionally or even knowingly.

Take responsibility for the pain you caused your wife and daughter, and continue showing up, fighting for them and being consistent in your true character. Consider bringing in a family counselor or therapist, if your wife is open to it. It will take time for trust to rebuild, but hopefully with consistency and patience, your wife will come to realize what a tragic accident this was.

— — —

Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.