Karen Wils photo In this undated photo is proof that a couple that plumbs together stays together.

ESCANABA — “Hi, Honey, the toilet is leaking,” is one of the worst ways to greet your husband.

Being a homeowner has a lot of ups and downs, but when it comes to plumbing, it’s the pits. Electrical problems, appliance malfunctions, broken furniture and more add excitement to married life.

Everybody knows when things go “kafooey”; they always go “kafooey” in threes. So like if a faucet needs replacing in the bathroom, you might as well plan for a new gasket for the kitchen sink too. And don’t be surprised if a window starts to leak that same week as well.

Household break downs definitely come in threes. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with home maintenance especially when both parents work outside the house.

I grew up with a dad that was a “fix it” man. Yes, my father could fix anything from radios to wringer wash machines. Even relatives and neighbors would bring items over for dad to repair. His work bench in the basement fixed broken bikes, broken chair rungs, can openers, coffee pots, dog leashes, shoes and toys of all sorts.

Wood working was always my dad’s favorite projects. Using the planer to turn his home grown trees into beautiful lumber was a pure joy.

Plumbing on the other hand was about as exciting as going to the dentist. It’s a good thing to do but things can be a little messy and painful with plumbing just like having dental work.

On a beautiful autumn weekend the very last thing a husband wants to hear from his loving wife is “gee I don’t think the kitchen sink is going down.”

Pipes and faucets know just when to break or leak. Weekends or holidays (when hardware stores might be closed) or busy times when company is coming, that’s when old pipes will let loose with a vengeance.

My family laughs every time we tell the story of the “Russian plumbing.” Way back in the 1970s when my dad was remolding our kitchen, he made up a temporary connection to the sink. Our house was a very busy place at that time with six kids at home.

To keep Mom (the Russian) happy and from running the stairs every time she needed to wash something, Dad used a hose to keep water flowing to the kitchen.

In the middle of the night the jerry rigged plumbing let loose. My brothers, who had a bedroom in the basement, came upstairs and said, “hey, Dad why is it raining in the basement?”

Just his summer a water pipe in out basement started to look a little rusty. It’s fine my husband said when I pointed it out to him. Then late one Saturday night, when we returned from our evening walk, I thought I heard the pitter-patter of rain drops in our basement.

Sure enough, the hundred year old pipe died and water was spraying all over the floor. That’s when it’s nice to have a brother who is also a neighbor and a water technician. Before Saturday Night Live was done, I had a fixed pipe and the water turned back on in my house.

There’s many home maintenance projects that are kind of fun, painting walls, wiring a new light but plumbing — just pray for your plumbing.

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Karen (Rose) Wils is a lifelong north Escanaba resident. Her folksy columns appear weekly in Lifestyles.