Dear Annie: I’ve been married to my husband, “David,” for 12 years. We have two kids, “Ella” (9) and “Lucas” (6). Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m doing everything alone. David works long hours as an accountant, and I understand that his job is demanding, but when he gets home, he zones out on his phone or watches TV while I handle dinner, homework and bedtime.

I also work — part-time as a dental assistant — but even on my days off, I’m running errands, doing laundry and handling everything for the kids. When I ask David for help, he says he’s exhausted and reminds me that he’s the one working full-time. The thing is, I’m exhausted, too.

Last weekend, I suggested we divide chores, but he kind of brushed it off by saying that he was already doing his part by being the main financial provider for our family. I don’t want to fight or ask for more than what’s fair, but I also don’t want to feel like a single parent while my husband is sitting right there. How do I get through to him without another argument? — Feeling Like the Only Adult in the House

Dear Only Adult: Running a household is an incredible mental and physical load, and it makes sense to want some support (or at the very least acknowledgement) from your partner.

Since direct confrontation has led to some defensiveness on his part, try a new approach. Tell him you are overwhelmed and need support, and make your requests as specific as possible (“Can you take the kids to the park on Saturday?” or “Can you help Ella with her homework tonight?”) rather than something vague (“Can you do more at home?”).

If he still refuses to step up, that’s a sign that he’s either not listening to you or not willing to take your needs seriously – two surefire signs that couples counseling is in order.

Dear Annie: My younger sister, “Rachel,” is 28 and has always been a bit of a mess when it comes to money. She jumps from job to job, spends impulsively and never seems to have savings. I, on the other hand, have always been the responsible one. I’m 32 and married, and my husband and I have worked hard to build a stable life.

Last month, Rachel called me in a panic because she was behind on rent. She asked to borrow $1,500, promising to pay me back in two months. I hesitated but ended up giving her the money. Since then, she’s posted pictures on social media of weekend trips and expensive dinners. When I gently reminded her about the loan, she got defensive and said I was “obsessed with money.” She hasn’t mentioned paying me back since.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, and I’m starting to feel completely taken advantage of. I love my sister, but I don’t want this to continue. How do I bring it up again without causing a huge fight? — Not an ATM

Dear Not an ATM: There’s a difference between supporting and enabling. The more money you lend Rachel, the more money she will request from you.

Remind her that she promised to pay you back in two months and you need to know when to expect the money. If the message still doesn’t get through to her, consider this a costly lesson in learning you can’t lend money to people who aren’t financially responsible — family or not. 

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Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.