Dear Annie: My husband has always seemed “old for his age.” For years, I managed the household while he worked full-time, but when he retired, I expected him to pitch in more with chores. That expectation has become our biggest source of conflict. He struggles to keep up with my energy, and I feel like he holds me back. I’ve grown bitter. I find myself craving space and alone time; sometimes I even send him to the store just to have a few moments to myself.

We never really fought, but that was because he’s a narcissist and a gaslighter. I stayed quiet to keep the peace. Years ago, he made a significant mistake, and while I initially blamed myself, I later realized I wasn’t responsible for his actions. I gave him the option to stay or leave, but I insisted on counseling. He refused, unwilling to admit fault. We never went to therapy, and now, 15 years later, I deeply regret it.

Over time, I’ve built walls around my heart. While I still love him, I know things will never be the same. He’s nearing 80, and I’m almost 70. Looking back, I see all the mistakes I made in our relationship, and it’s painful to reflect on what could have been.

Annie, how can I help others — especially younger couples — address these kinds of challenges before it’s too late? And is it ever too late for a couple like us to find peace, understanding or even healing after all these years? — Wife Moving Out

Dear Wife Moving Out: It’s never too late to find peace. Healing may not mean fixing everything, but it could mean learning to let go of resentment and find understanding. Consider individual counseling to process your feelings. Or, consider having an honest conversation with your husband if it feels right. It’s also OK to prioritize the space and “me time” you need for your well-being.

You’ve done so much for others; now it’s time to focus on what brings you peace and fulfillment. I wish you clarity and healing as you move forward.

Dear Annie: I know from personal experience the pain of being separated from a grandchild, especially an only grandchild. It’s a unique kind of heartbreak.

“p1″>I’ve been fortunate to have a great-niece to love and dote on occasionally. Without her, I’d feel a deep void. For those in similar situations, I strongly suggest finding other little ones to care for and love. Over the years, I’ve come across wonderful opportunities for volunteers who help children, such as programs where people can rock babies in hospital settings. A quick Google search for “volunteer baby cuddler” led me to several hospital systems in my area with programs to cuddle and comfort babies in need.

Other organizations, like baby pantries or pregnancy crisis centers, also offer chances to assist families with children. Even volunteering at a church nursery could be an option, provided someone is already established in that community.

These avenues can be incredibly fulfilling and help fill the gap in a meaningful way. I hope this advice can inspire others who are struggling with the loss of connection to their grandchildren. — Melancholy

Dear Melancholy: These are wonderful suggestions. Thank you for sharing.

— — —

Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.