Dear Annie: I never thought I had a screen time problem until my daughter called me out. The other night, we were sitting on the couch together, and she was excitedly telling me about her day. Without thinking, I picked up my phone to check a notification. She stopped mid-sentence and sighed, “Never mind, you’re not even listening.” That hit me hard.

I realize now that screens are pulling me away from the things that matter most. I scroll through social media when I should be sleeping, leaving me exhausted the next day. I respond to work emails during family dinner, making my loved ones feel ignored. Even when I try to unwind with a show, I find myself mindlessly scrolling at the same time, not really present in anything I’m doing.

I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want to be more engaged in my own life instead of just consuming content. But every time I try to cut back, I feel restless — like I’m missing something. How can I set better boundaries with my screen time without feeling disconnected or giving in to the habit all over again? — Trying to Log Off and Tune In

Dear Tune In: It must have been painful to hear your daughter’s disappointment, but oftentimes, those wake-up calls serve as the best catalysts for change. You are not alone. Screens were designed to take our attention. They have a way of being in our lives every moment, often without us realizing it. The fact that you’re aware of the problem and want to make a change is already a big step in the right direction.

Start small. You don’t have to go cold turkey on screen time, but setting gentle boundaries can make a world of difference. Try establishing “screen-free times” — like no phones at the dinner table or putting your phone in another room when spending time with loved ones. Even just 30 minutes before bed without screens can help you sleep better and wake up feeling more present.

Brainstorm things you enjoy doing that don’t involve screens, and make them a priority. Pick up that book you’ve been meaning to read, go for a walk or start a new hobby that keeps your hands busy. The more fulfilling your off-screen moments are, the less you’ll feel like you’re missing out.

And when the urge to check your phone creeps in, pause and ask yourself: “Is this adding value to my life right now?” Over time, this simple habit can help you become more intentional about how you spend your time.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.