Dear Annie: My name is Jess, and I’ve always prided myself on being the “steady one.” I have a good job as a marketing manager, a wonderful husband named “Fred,” and a life that feels stable and predictable. On paper, everything looks perfect. But lately, I can’t shake this persistent, nagging feeling that something is missing.

Growing up, my parents struggled financially, so I learned early on to choose security above all else. I picked a practical career over pursuing my dream of becoming a travel writer. I bought a sensible condo instead of moving to a bustling city like New York or exploring life abroad. Even in my relationship with Fred — who is kind, reliable and everything I could ask for — I wonder if I’ve chosen comfort over passion.

Now, at 34, I find myself looking back and questioning whether I’ve built a life I truly love or one that simply feels safe. I’ve been fantasizing about taking risks — whether that’s finally writing that travel blog, signing up for an improv class or taking a sabbatical to backpack through Europe. But every time I consider it, I freeze. What if I ruin the stability I’ve worked so hard to build? What if I disappoint the people who rely on me?

How do I balance the life I’ve carefully created with this deep urge to try something bold and new? Is it possible to chase adventure without blowing up everything I’ve worked for? — Jess the Steady Dreamer

Dear Jess the Steady Dreamer: I say go for the risk! Freezing up is a very typical response when we’ve experienced trauma in the past. It’s your body reacting as though you’re still in danger, even though you’re not. The truth is, the real danger lies in not pursuing the life you truly want to live.

Start with baby steps. Write a few pieces for a travel blog, or take a class in something you’re passionate about. Once you begin moving toward your goals, the patterns of hesitation will start to melt away.

I also recommend exploring somatic therapy, which is an excellent resource for addressing fight, flight or freeze responses. A trained somatic therapist can help you work through and release some of the traumas that may be holding you back.

You’ve already built a solid foundation; now it’s time to build the life you’ve been dreaming of!

Dear Annie: I’ve struggled with romance for most of my life. I’m 27 and find myself repeatedly dealing with unrequited crushes. It’s embarrassing because I feel like I shouldn’t be struggling with something so trivial at my age. Crushes seem more fitting for kids, not for an adult woman with a good job and her life seemingly together.

Right now, I have strong feelings for a co-worker, which isn’t new for me but feels more intense this time. I’m practically intoxicated by these emotions, and it’s torture knowing I can’t act on them. There are always factors that make pursuing these feelings impossible, and this same cycle has repeated throughout my life.

Every time, I fall for someone I can’t have, and it leads to endless pining followed by heartbreak. It’s so hard keeping my admiration bottled up when all I want is to express my respect and affection openly.

I hope to meet someone one day with whom I can build a real romantic connection and finally escape this painful cycle. But I can’t help feeling stuck. On top of that, I’m scared about running out of time. My mom was married with kids at my age, and I worry that finding love too late will keep me from having a family of my own.

What can I do to break this cycle and stop feeling so hopeless? How do I stop worrying and finally move forward? — Stressed Out

Dear Stressed Out: Your mom grew up in a different time. You don’t have to have the same timeline as her. What is important is that you find someone where the feelings are mutual.

A one-sided crush often reflects a deeper need for connection or validation with a person. A therapist could help you explore these patterns and guide you toward healthier ways to approach relationships. In the meantime, focus on building a fulfilling life outside of romance; nurture hobbies, friendships and passions that bring you joy.

When the right connection comes along, it won’t feel like a painful cycle; it’ll feel natural and mutual. Be patient and kind to yourself. You’re not behind, and love will happen in its own time.

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Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.