Dear Annie: I believe it’s a bad idea for people to share their unsolicited opinions on other people’s parenting, especially not someone like me, who is young, single, childless and barely knows what to do with my own life.

Still, I can’t help but worry about my brother’s lifestyle. His house is a mess, and not just a “child lives here” kind of messy, but the kind where the dining room is never used to dine in because the chairs and table are always occupied with things. His 4-year-old daughter sleeps in her parents’ bed, which they don’t like but won’t send her to her own bed.

That kid is very pampered in general; for example, brother and sister-in-law buy her new toys for no particular occasion, before she even has time to ask for them. I’m afraid their home is slowly looking more and more like those in “Hoarders.” What worries me the most is that their lifestyle reminds me of a friend from childhood, who is currently very troubled and has tried to commit suicide several times. Alarmist person that I am, I want to inform my brother of this, but I suppose it’s too far-fetched? Also, my mother criticizes their parenting a lot, which causes lots of fights, so it already is a sensitive topic for my brother. Should I share my worries with him or let him figure out things at his pace? — The Nosy Aunt

Dear Nosy Aunt: You clearly have good intentions, but your instinct is also correct that unsolicited parenting advice from someone without kids rarely goes over well. Instead of focusing on criticism, focus on support. If they mention feeling overwhelmed, offer your services to help declutter and organize.

Of course, if you believe their child is legitimately in danger, then you need to contact social services.

Dear Annie: About a year and a half ago, my husband’s uncle helped us hire a cleaning lady. My husband and I both work, so this cleaning lady comes one Saturday a month because that’s our shared day off. We pay her good money, and she does a pretty good job. The only problem I have is that she asks very personal questions.

My husband and I are usually very quiet around her. We always offer her something to drink when she arrives. She eventually asks us very personal questions, and we always answer politely, but she has to detect that my husband and I get annoyed. Some of the questions include, “How long have you worked at your current job? Oh, you got a new bed? Are you going to work after I leave? Where did you get that shampoo?” etc.

She seems like the snippy type, so my husband and I are quiet after the initial “How are you?” and “Would you like a drink of water or something?” We always offer a drink as I mentioned because it’s the kind thing to do. To us, it seems this lady is trying to be our friend, and we feel it’s not appropriate. Being kind and courteous is a must in my opinion, but we know nothing about her (my husband’s uncle helped us hire her through an online site, and I do trust his judgment).

I’m afraid to get too personal because I feel it goes against our boundaries. She is there to clean. Respect should obviously be given on both sides, and she is getting paid. That’s how I feel it should stay. What is your opinion? — Guarded in Aspen

Dear Guarded: Keep up your short, vague replies and try making yourself scarce when she’s there to limit room for conversation in the first place. If she still doesn’t pick up these subtle cues, verbalize your boundaries firmly to her. You’re paying for a service, not a friendship with this woman. It’s more than fair to want to keep things pleasant but professional.

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Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.