While navigating life’s pathways, we encounter clashes within ourselves. They center on our compassion and understanding vs. primal emotions, such as fear, anger, and self-preservation, to name a few.

Primal emotions are innate and are designed for self-preservation. They come into play when encountering a situation that may be uncomfortable or threatening. Possessing just these could make life challenging. By that, I mean that there needs to be a filter for these emotions. Otherwise, the center of our world would end at the tips of our noses.

That’s where empathy comes into play. It provides the thread and stitch that binds together the fabric of humanity. When empathy is involved, it forms an emotional bond between individuals and, in turn, trust is established. That special human connection is fostered. This involves a more intricate cognitive process. It centers on listening, understanding, and feeling the emotions of others. It is also the ability to experience what others feel and verbalize and reflect back to them. With this, the barriers of primal emotion are set at bay.

Similar to physical skills, the skill involved in being empathetic can be improved with practice. Try some of the following approaches for starters:

1) Empathetic understanding – This is engaged listening, such as repeating back emotions that were stated or asking questions that are designed to be open-ended, such as “How do you feel about that?” and “What were your reactions?”

2) Practicing a non-judgmental attitude – Refrain from giving advice and continue to withhold criticism. For example, inquire what solutions they would opt to choose and why.

3) Observe non-verbal cues (body language) and ask for feedback – Body language is vital in communication. It lifts the veil of communication at times, more than the spoken word would reveal. Be attentive and learn to read expressions and mannerisms. For example, be aware of facial expressions: a down-turned mouth, a mouth stretched sideways in a straight line, or the smile. Another area is the eyes. These will be subtle indicators of one’s emotions — emotions that someone may not be able to express in words (or even be aware of) but are revealed through body language. (Body language is a future topic.)

Empathy tames primal emotions by incorporating humanitarian feelings. They transform these in a number of ways, such as compassion prevailing over self-preservation, love subduing anger, and kindness overpowering selfishness. We all have choices including whether or not to be good stewards of our own emotions and instincts. Making positive, meaningful differences in not only your life but the lives of others is what the Lord would want you to do. God bless all of you.

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Daniel J. Paul is a retired school administrator. His columns focus on education, old-fashioned family values, relationships, and other topics. To submit comments email meaningfuldifferences@gmail.com.