Dear Annie: I really need help. I’m a 28-year-old woman living in New York City. For the past three years, I’ve been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend, “Charles.” He’s 31, works in tech and is super ambitious. We met in college, and while we’ve always gotten along well, I’ve started to notice some major differences between us as we’ve gotten older.

To give you some context, I’m someone who craves emotional connection. I love having deep conversations, spending quality time together and doing activities that foster closeness, like cooking together or hiking. But Charles is more of an introvert. He enjoys his alone time, often retreats into his hobbies (video games, reading sci-fi and sometimes coding for fun) and is more of a “let’s watch a movie in silence” type of person.

At first, I thought it was just the “honeymoon phase” wearing off, but I’m starting to feel lonely in our relationship. I’ve tried to communicate my needs, but he always says he’s “fine” and that I shouldn’t worry. It’s like he can’t really understand where I’m coming from. I’ve suggested we try couples therapy, but he’s reluctant, saying we don’t need it.

“p1″>Things got even more complicated when a new coworker, “Mark,” started to work at my office. He’s the opposite of Charles — super outgoing, very emotionally open and we get along like peas in a pod. The chemistry between us is undeniable, and I’ve found myself fantasizing about what it would be like to be with someone who actually gets me on that level. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help but feel a certain pull toward him.

I haven’t told Charles about how distant I’m feeling, and I definitely haven’t mentioned my growing attraction to Mark. Part of me feels guilty for even thinking about it, but another part of me wonders if I’m just settling for a relationship that no longer serves me.

So here’s my question: Am I just going through a phase? Should I break up with Charles and pursue a relationship with Mark? Or do I owe it to him (and myself) to work on the relationship and see if we can bridge this emotional gap? I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m feeling confused and stuck. — Need Help

Dear Help: You are caught between comfort and chemistry. You owe it to yourself to have a talk with Charles about your feelings and see if he opens up a bit more. You are young and not married, so breaking up is a lot simpler, but it is important that you not get hurt.

Mark is not going anywhere, so there is no need to rush into anything with him until you have decided what to do with Charles.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.