Dear Annie: I’ve been married for over 20 years, and my husband has always handled our finances. I trusted him to take care of everything, but recently, I’ve started to feel uneasy. When I ask about our savings, bills or retirement plans, he either brushes me off or gives vague answers. I don’t know if he’s hiding something or if he just doesn’t think I need to know.

I don’t want to accuse him of anything, but I also don’t want to be in the dark about our financial situation. What if something happens to him? How do I bring this up without starting a fight or making him feel like I don’t trust him? — Feeling Left Out in Finances

Dear Feeling Left Out: It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling uneasy. Marriage is a partnership, and that includes finances. You’re not wrong to want to know where you stand, and your husband shouldn’t see that as a challenge; it’s simply good sense.

The best way to approach this is with warmth, not accusation. Pick a calm moment and say something like, “I’d really like us to go over our finances together so I can feel more secure about our future. Can we sit down and review everything?” This keeps the conversation from feeling like an interrogation and instead frames it as teamwork.

If he brushes you off, gently but firmly remind him that as his wife, you need to be informed. If something were to happen to him, would you even know where to begin? A responsible marriage means ensuring both partners have access to important financial details.

If he continues to resist, there may be a deeper issue — whether it’s discomfort discussing money, financial mismanagement or something he’s afraid to reveal. In that case, it might help to bring in a neutral third party, like a financial adviser, to make sure everything is in order.

This isn’t about trust; it’s about security. Every spouse deserves financial transparency, and you have every right to feel informed and prepared.

Dear Annie: I love my boyfriend, “Tom,” with all my heart. We’ve been together for almost two years, and he’s never given me a reason not to trust him. But lately, I’ve been struggling with doubt and insecurity, and I hate feeling this way.

A few nights ago, we were out to dinner when his phone buzzed. He glanced at it, smiled and quickly put it face down on the table. It was probably nothing, but my mind instantly spiraled — was he talking to someone else? Was he hiding something? I didn’t say anything in the moment, but the doubt lingered. Now, I find myself paying attention to things I never used to — who he’s texting, whether he seems distant, little things that wouldn’t have mattered to me before.

I don’t want to let these thoughts take over. Tom has always been honest and loving, and I know I have no real reason to worry. But how do I stop these insecurities from creeping in and ruining something good? I want to trust him fully, but sometimes, my mind won’t let me.

Dear Feeling Jealous: It’s natural to feel moments of insecurity, but don’t let them overshadow the trust and love you share with Tom. Your doubts aren’t based on his actions but on overthinking, which can spiral if left unchecked.

Instead of holding it in, have an open, calm conversation — something like, “I’ve been feeling a little insecure lately, and I don’t want it to come between us.” This invites reassurance without accusation. Also, reflect on where these feelings stem from — past experiences, fear of vulnerability or something else.

Trust is a choice, not about knowing everything but believing in what you’ve built together. Don’t let fear steal your happiness.

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Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.