Dear Annie: I would appreciate it if you’d consider helping me figure out an answer to a question I am so tired of being asked, which is, “Why haven’t you gotten married?”

I am a 65-year-old single woman who has accomplished a lot in life. I’ve contributed to society and volunteered. I’m independent, self-sustaining and have never been arrested. I have two master’s degrees, an MFA and an MBA, and had successful careers in both areas. I’m a nationally award-winning teacher and outstanding bicyclist and triathlete. Yet with everything I’ve done in my life, the one thing that people I meet focus on is my marital status, and I’m sick of being asked this question as if I’m a freak.

The questions are phrased in an insulting manner: “I can’t tell what is wrong with you that you never married. What do you think it is?” Or when I tell them I’m comfortable with being single and myself, their response is, “I hope you understand I’m only doing this for your well-being,” insinuating that being single is some sort of problem they need to correct. Even with that response, the next comment is, “I’m so sorry you have to go it alone.” My response is, “I’m fine doing things by myself. I’ve done it all my life and don’t find anything unusual about it.”

There are many reasons why I’m not married, including getting hit by a car and learning my once perfectly behaved fiance treated me poorly when I was sick and ugly. The next man I was serious with unexpectedly died of a stroke. I have had many opportunities to marry, and the older I got, the more I valued my independence. No man I met was worth giving that up for.

The reason for my not being married is no one’s business, especially people I have just met, and I have come to the age where I am not going to justify my choice. I have moved to a retirement community where almost all of my neighbors are married. My single status is important to them as evidenced by their constant questions and attempts to set me up with men or women (I am not gay) without my consent. I am about to lose my temper with the next person who questions my single status and come back with a rude response, as I find it rude that they continue to focus on this one aspect of my life.

Is there any one-phrase response you can offer me that will put an end to that question and redirect the conversation? I certainly will appreciate whatever ideas you have. — Independent and Irritated

“p1″>Dear Independent and ­Irritated: Wow — it’s clear you have built a very rich and fulfilling life for yourself, and for that you should be exceptionally proud, whatever your romantic status. The next time someone questions your singledom, try kindly but firmly saying something like, “I’ve been lucky to create a life I love and which just so happens not to include a significant other. I hope we can focus on more interesting topics.” This politely shuts down further conversation and emphasizes what’s most important, which is that you are happy. You don’t have to justify that.

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Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.