Dear Annie: I am a retired obstetrician-gynecologist, and over the years, I have had the privilege of counseling many women who have experienced the heartbreak of pregnancy loss. Whether through miscarriage, stillbirth or the birth of a child with defects incompatible with life, these losses are profoundly devastating.

One of the most painful aspects for many of these women is the response — or lack of response — from their friends and loved ones. Too often, people avoid the grieving mother entirely. It’s not because they don’t care but because they simply don’t know what to say. Tragically, when they do say something, it can often be unintentionally hurtful.

Phrases like, “You can always have another one” or “He (or she) is in a better place” or, “It was God’s will” may be well-intentioned, but they can diminish the profound grief and invalidate feelings of loss. These statements unintentionally communicate that the life that was lost is replaceable or that the grieving person should simply accept the tragedy and move on.

From my experience, the best response is often the simplest: “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Acknowledging the pain without trying to fix it or explain it away is far more meaningful. This small gesture tells the grieving person that their loss matters, that their child’s life — however brief — was significant, and that they are not alone in their grief.

Pregnancy loss is an emotional and often isolating experience, and a little compassion and sensitivity can make a world of difference to someone who is grieving. If nothing else, we should strive to offer our presence and our willingness to listen without judgment or advice.

Thank you for providing a platform for these kinds of conversations. I hope this perspective will help others feel more confident in supporting loved ones during such difficult times. — Baby MD

Dear Baby MD: Thank you so much for your letter. I hope it helps people bring awareness to the pain that people are feeling when they go through this.

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Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.