Dear Annie: I’ve been best friends for over 50 years now with a girl I was neighbors with growing up. When I was about 12, I remember coming home from her house upset over the way her dad had treated her. He was always very cold and abrupt, and he treated her as less than he did her older sister.

I confided in my parents about this, and they sort of brushed it off. My parents, thinking I had left the room and was out of earshot, started discussing this and I overheard my dad say that it was probably because this man wasn’t my friend’s real dad. To their shock, I immediately came back into the room and asked what that meant. They tried to backpedal, but I knew what I heard and wanted an explanation. They sat me down and told me that he was not her biological father. They did not give me details as I was only 12, but they did make me promise to never say a word. I have kept that promise for 40 years, even after both her parents passed away.

Now recently, she has informed me of her interest in her family tree and about wanting to have her ancestry done through one of those DNA places. I am now beside myself with guilt! I’m so afraid she’s going to discover the truth. On one hand, maybe it would explain her dad’s behavior toward her, but on the other hand, how would I react to her telling me if she finds out? Would I admit that I have always known or just act like it’s news to me as well? Should I just go ahead and tell her what I know? I certainly don’t want to lie to such an important person in my life, but I’m at a loss as to what the right thing to do is. Since becoming an adult, I’ve spoken to my parents about it, who have explained how this all happened 54 years ago. I have all the information now, but what do I do with it? — Struggling

Dear Struggling: As a child, you were tasked with an impossible choice: Either betray your parents’ trust or your best friend’s. Over 50 years later, you’re in the same lose-lose situation.

Honesty is usually the best policy — but in this case, it will only hurt her more and potentially demolish your friendship forever. Ultimately, the truth about your friend’s father was not yours to share with her. For whatever reason, she is now curious about her family’s roots and sounds like she’s ready to accept whatever information lies in store. As difficult as it is to continue this charade, your friend will be even more heartbroken if she finds out both her family and her best friend have been lying to her all these years. Be prepared to support her through learning the truth. She’s going to need it.

Dear Annie: The stressed senior who didn’t know what to major in should consider going to a local junior college for two years. One of my daughters didn’t know what she wanted to do and it was a good choice for her. She did not have to declare a major and just started taking gen ed classes. Because of the low price, she could try out extra things.

She also lived at home and found a good job so was able to save up money. One of the reasons for huge student debt is that people change their major a lot. If they get an associate degree and transfer it to a university, it counts as your first two years.

I have also heard of kids who go to vocational school to learn a skill like welding. They find jobs immediately — and some do sophisticated sculpture in their spare time! Do not discount community colleges! The skills they teach are trending strongly, and cost far less than college. — Other Options

Dear Other Options: A number of you wrote in with advice for “Stressed” with practical alternatives to a traditional four-year college. Things like vocational school or junior college are fantastic options for those who want to learn a trade, save money or simply take a little extra time to figure out their path forward.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information.