Dear Annie: I have known “Gabe” for 13 to 14 years now. We met through the website Meetup and have attended social events. He’s awkward in social settings and wasn’t included in groups. I felt bad for him, so I included him. At that time, I was planning on leaving town, so I thought the right thing to do was to continue to invite him every now and then to different social functions, to be nice. Since then, I have sent him holiday cards, and we usually see each other four to five times a year, normally for a meal and shopping trip at Costco.

Gabe always talks about the same things almost every time we meet. I indulge him because I know he’s lonely and doesn’t have a lot of friends. He’s not married and doesn’t engage much with his family except for family gatherings at the holidays. He’s a nice guy overall and harmless. It’s just that the friendship doesn’t add value to my life. It hasn’t since the beginning, and I have tried, but for a while now, my spending time with him has felt like a charity case (I don’t really want to or have to, and I do it with almost professionalism so it seems I’ve been with him because I wanted to be). I feel it’s disingenuous and inauthentic. I would like to end the friendship between us instead of ghosting him.

I know doing this and therefore ending contact will hurt him (another reason why this Band-Aid should have been ripped off a very long time ago). I could have a conversation to renegotiate the boundaries of the friendship, but I don’t have the desire to. I know that to be true because I am using this past election as an excuse to shun him as well as making a case against him using an incident that occurred the last time we met. He told me how funny he thinks it is that he made “witty” nicknames to make fun of other people’s names, whether or not those people wanted those nicknames he came up with or not. I chided him for that then as I think it’s bully behavior.

How do I break up with this friend? — Ready to Let Go

Dear Ready: Break-ups of any kind are bound to be awkward — but if how you’ve been behaving toward Gabe is a front for how you really feel, then you’re making the right call. Pretending to be his friend doesn’t serve either of you.

The fact that you and Gabe only see each other a handful of times a year lends itself to your friendship fading naturally on its own. But if you’re adamant about not ghosting him, then you need to tell him gently and directly that you think it’s best you two to go your separate ways. He will feel hurt — as you said, he doesn’t have many other friends in his support system — but ending the friendship is better for both of you than continuing an inauthentic one.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.