Dear Annie: I’m a high school senior worried about my future. I still haven’t found a major I really want to do, and I’m running out of time. Animation/art is my passion, but I don’t want to get my degree in it. I haven’t found anything else I’m interested in pursuing. I want to make money without selling my soul to do something I’d hate. How can I find something useful to get my degree in? — Stressed

Dear Stressed: As a high school senior, you’re definitely not running out of time. It’s great that you have a passion — many people have to work for years before finding theirs — but you probably have a host of other interests that you haven’t even discovered yet.

There is a Japanese concept called “ikigai”: the intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs and what you can get paid for. Keep this principle in mind as you continue on in your academic career and, eventually, enter the workforce. 

College is a time to experiment; you should take classes you never thought you would in disciplines you didn’t think you’d be “good” at. You’ll be surprised at what you find.

Dear Annie: My father died from suicide in 2021. My sister, initially supportive, later drunk-dialed my mother and said a bunch of nasty things about both me and my mother. For some reason, my mother didn’t cut the conversation short and later told me what my sister said, which included that my father had killed himself because our other sister and I are “unstable” and couldn’t look after him.

I haven’t talked to my overly drinking sister for a few years now. She previously ruined a family Thanksgiving with a different drunk outburst and also squandered some money I gave her for a car. I want to confront her, but I know she will deny and deflect it to try to insult me. I have no time for this; I am disabled with severe recurring depression and anxiety. I found my dad, which was really hard on me, and I’m floored that not only would my sister not understand this but also press ahead with backbiting me.

Should I reach out and begrudgingly TEXT her, explaining why I haven’t answered her messages since I learned what she had said to our mother while drunk again? This is only because she won’t talk to me on the phone, only through text. Or should I just go my own way? — Still Hurting

Dear Still Hurting: It sounds like a confrontation will end with your sister, once again, passing the buck on your family’s hardships, which will only be frustrating and hurtful for you.

While I’m sure she is still grieving the loss of your father in her own way, as long as your sister continues to drink, it’s not likely there will be any productive change. Protecting your own peace seems like a far better use of your time, until your sister is ready to listen and take responsibility for the pain she has contributed to your life. You might find comfort in your local Al-Anon chapter, connecting with others who understand this struggle well.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.